The Practice of Smiling
One day a few years ago, I was cruisin’ down the road (my fav hobby and mental processing lab!!), and I was thinking about the nature of my intensity as a Scorpio woman. I recalled how often in my adult life people would say something like, “smile, Cathy….you always look so intense”. And I also remembered times when one of my children would ask if I was in a bad mood; and when I would reply “no, why”? they would say “cuz your face looks like you’re in a bad mood”.
And even in that very moment of remembering these comments, I felt the intensity in my face, and when I looked in the rearview mirror at myself, I indeed had a hard look, a furrowed brow, almost a scowl on my face.
So I smiled.
A few minutes later, finding myself once again deep in thought, I realized the intense face replaced the smile…that quickly it was replaced by the facial habit of intensity.
So I smiled…again. And I made myself stay with the smile….for a few minutes longer this time.
Then…again….it faded without my realizing it, and again was replaced with a tight, intense face.
So I kept at it. That day on my long road cruise, I resolved to practice smiling all day long, in the car, everywhere I went, and with everyone I came across or engaged with. Every time I dropped the smile and put on intensity, I smiled again – and held it, longer, and longer and longer.
I smiled at the grouchy girl in the convenience store. She smiled back. I smiled at the loud family on the river. They didn’t smile back – but I didn’t care…because I was holding my smile and its softness. I smiled when I sang loudly in the car…and I was still smiling when I went to bed.
After a full day of practicing smiling, I felt different I when awoke the next day – and I smiled. I started my day with a smile.
That day on my road cruise opened a whole new area of my world. A world of smiling. And as I continued the practice daily from that point on, I noticed some very interesting things about the practice of smiling.
First, I noticed my face hurt when I held the smile for longer periods of time. I had to exercise my mouth/lips, tongue and jaw to release the tension in my face muscles from holding a SMILE!
“How absurd is THAT?!!”, I thought to myself. “My facial muscles are NOT accustomed to holding a smile, and it actually hurts to smile for more than a minute or two. There’s something wrong with this picture!!”
And so the regular practice began. And with regular practice, my facial muscles are now accustomed to holding a smile for long periods of time. But I had to practice. Isn’t that kinda nuts? I had to PRACTICE holding a smile in order to keep my face and jaw from hurting!!!!
I noticed that when I held the smile, sparks of pleasant thoughts and memories would suddenly show up. The smile itself was sending some sort of signal to my brain and biochemical system that almost immediately brought a subtle cascade of pleasant senses.
“Hmmmm….isn’t that interesting”, I thought. “Holding this smile actually changes something immediately in my thoughts, emotions and energy – I suddenly feel uplifted, positive and lighter”, without any outside factors triggering the smile. The smile itself was a happy trigger. I like that! I need more of THAT!
With that realization, I smiled even bigger – a more natural smile – the kind that comes with accomplishment. Then that smile led to a chuckle, which led to soft laughter. And then I began to sing with one of my fav songs on the car stereo. And I smiled….and smiled….and smiled! “Perfect moments”, I thought. “There aren’t enough perfect moments in my life, so I will create them….with my smile”.
I noticed that when I hold a smile while in public, such as the grocery store, convenience store, while waiting at the doctor or dentist office; some people would keep peeking at me from behind their magazines or phones, or giving me the double take or checking me out every 30 seconds or so – as if they wanted to see if I was STILL smiling – or as if I was doing something strange. Apparently, some people are NOT accustomed to seeing someone hold a smile. Eventually, some of those folks would smile back. Mission accomplished!
I discovered how very true it is that we ALL energetically impact whatever environment we are in. And because I want to be a positive energetic influence, I hold a smile in these environments and spread that goodness everywhere! Sometimes holding a smile makes people look at me like I’m strange, but mostly, I see the sudden lilt in their eyes and they return the smile. I just gave them a momentary lift. The Smile. An easy gift to give!
I noticed that it’s hard to stay mad or upset when I smile. So when I feel that intensity on my face…the furrowed brow, the scowl from upsetting thoughts….I practice the smile. And something happens. I can’t really explain it, but almost immediately it lightens things in my mind and emotions. It changes the mood. It changes my thoughts. It even brings sparks of clarity about my choice to remain upset…. to consciously change the mood by my simple practice of smiling. Something happens. Something better than the “bad mood”. And I prefer the choice of smiling.
That’s NOT a matter of putting my head in the sand. It’s a matter of choice. I get to choose how I feel about something, instead of old patterns of mood, thought and emotion being the Director of my feelings and reactions.
When I smile, I’m responding. I feel softer and more receptive. When I stay in a bad mood, I’m reacting, as if I have no choice but to stay with the unpleasant feelings and thoughts.
I prefer to respond, and practice being the Director of my emotions. When I choose to smile, and it changes my emotional response, that in return changes my thoughts. To better thoughts.
In return, something better happens inside of me. My energy changes. My vibes change. I feel better, and that not only affects me, but also affects my environment and those I am around.
I noticed that most people do not smile very much. In a time of great intensity, uncertainty and fear in our world and personal lives, smiling almost seems to be a lost art!
Our stressful thoughts, situations and world conditions have highjacked the state of reprieve and softness that a smile provides; and instead we are walking around with furrowed brows, frowns and that all-too-familiar crabby face. And that becomes infectious. It’s contagious.
Whether you practice crabbiness and frowns, or smiling and lightness, it’s infectious. Its infectious to you, your home, your family, your co-workers and eventually the collective.
Think about it. How does it make you feel when you’re around someone who is smiling? When you stop at the convenience store on the way home from work, and the cashier is smiling and friendly, what is your response? Do you find yourself smiling back, or are you too stressed to return the smile? Does it lighten you up for a moment or maybe a few moments; or has smiling become so strange that it makes you wonder what in the hell is wrong with them?!
On the other end of that spectrum, how does it make you feel when you’re around someone who has the furrowed brow, the frown, that stressful crabby look? You stop at the same convenience store and there’s a different cashier today, one that obviously does not want to be there, does not want to deal with people and sports that crabby face and furrowed brow? What happens to your mood, attitude and energy when around people in that state?
Ok, point made. Other people’s moods, attitudes and facial expressions affect much more than just their own state of being…it has potential to affect everyone in their space – and even ripples out to the collective eventually!
So, we see and experience through daily situations such as this that we can make conscious choices to smile and lighten up, or we can give in to what seems easier these days…to allow stress to rule and keep the frown and furrowed brow as our natural state. Which do you prefer to be around, and which do you prefer to be your natural state?
Smiling almost instantly changes mood and attitude, which not only affects us, personally, but also has a great influence on those in our immediate surroundings. Smiling almost immediately lifts our vibrations to a higher state and brings with it more positive thoughts and feelings. Even if only for a few moments, and God knows….we need more moments like that in this crazy world!
I know it’s not possible to smile ALL THE TIME! There are times we need to allow ourselves to BE WITH sadness, grief, anger, disappointment and discouragement; for these moods and emotions are most often, in and of themselves, teachers of our various human states of being. So be with these teachers, but don’t hang out with them too long. Allow them to teach you what they are around to teach you about yourself. THEN….smile, because you are learning about yourself and life. Nothing lasts forever, not even sadness grief, anger, etc. Unless you LET them hang around. That’s your choice in the long run.
Try it next time you experience these emotions, moods and feelings. Try inserting the smile into the mix and see what happens! Who cares what others think!!!....it’s your life, your energy, your wellbeing…just SMILE!
I’ve found that smiling is best practiced (at first) when in the car. But practice it anywhere, everywhere and as much as possible. It provides a little bit of magic in a crazy world.
The Smile Menu – Mix It Up, try them ALL!
Full Smile – show your teeth even if you don’t like them! Make people wonder what you’re up to!!
Hard to hold cuz your face muscles hurt! But hold it….then exercise your mouth with exaggerated movements….and smile again…and again….again!
Soft Smile
This one is easier on the face muscles, and seems to attract softer feelings and insights. I find it to be just as effective as the full smile.
Cheezy Grin
This is kinda like the full smile, but without showing the pearly whites. Again….it makes people wonder what you’re up to!
Soft Grin
This is the easiest to hold without having to do mouth exercises to hold it. This is actually my favorite smile – it simply keeps me in a soft state of energy and gentles my mind!
SMILE PRESCRIPTION!
Practice often, every day; side effects may include:
Reprieve
Clarity
Gentleness
Joy
Happiness
Good Mood
Softness
Loving Kindness
Namaste to all! KEEP SMILING and add a little magic to the world!!!
